Which story is better?
“Everyone was very dirty, and did every stupid Chinese joke. After the show we’re drinking in the lobby with Bobby W. ‘Rrrr, we were fucking great tonight. We fucking killed. …’
“A little man comes over and goes, ‘Aw, listen, you big mouth. You do your thing in that room, and that’s fine. You now in lobby. OK? Watch your language, big mouth. OK? Chinese people don’t like that stuff. OK? Show some respect!’
“Byron said, ‘OK, pal. Take it easy. Didn’t mean to offend anybody. Alright? OK, that’s better.’ They shake hands.
“I turn around, and Bobby goes, “Fucking Chinks!’
“The guy turned around, ‘You! You think you’re tough guy!’
“‘Take it easy, Small Fry!’ says Bobby.
“I said, ‘Oh, Bobby. Let’s get out of here.’
“‘Why? What are you afraid of?’
“I said, ‘Let’s get out of here.’ We walked to the car. then we hear, ‘Woo woo woo!’ And there’s fourteen of them with knives and cleavers, running at us. We got in the car, locked the door and took off. I literally wet my pants that night. They were banging on the roof of the car. It was very scary.”
I went into the park. It’s one o’clock in the morning by now. A guy was passing in the street on a bicycle. He sees me. He just kept going back and forth in front of the park I think, I’m going to have a problem with this guy. I call my dog and put her on the leash. We’re walking out the only entrance to the park.
Now we’re on the city street, he on one side of a car, me on the other, right under a light. His back is to me, he’s still motoring on his bike. He sticks his hand in his pants. I think, he’s got a gun. When he turns around, he didn’t have a gun. He had his penis in his hand and he was masturbating. I got so mad. I wasn’t frightened. What if it was my niece walking the dog, or it was someone’s daughter? A housewife? Someone’s who’d be frightened. I remember when I was a young girl and that happened to me I was terribly frightened.
Now I knew what he had in his hand. I pulled out my gun. And he knew what I had in my hand. I stuck it straight out, and said to him, “I’ll put a bullet in your eff’ing head.”
And pssh, he had an instant crash. And he said to me–which struck me very strange–”what are you, crazy, lady?” And he drove off, thinking I was crazy.