Which story is better?
“I did this joke, saying, ‘If I can’t beat the guy up, I’d sue the bastard.’”
From the audience came a yell. “Hey, Jew-boy!”
In a beat the comic replied, “Listen, pal. I wouldn’t need my lawyer for you, OK? Knock it off.”
Again came the taunt, “Jew-boy!”
It was a hot moment as the comic turned to him, “You know, look at the size of you, you big Aryan man you. I’ll be honest with you. You’d probably kick the shit out of me. There’s really nothing I could do. And, yet, I feel bad for you, because I know that’s not somethng you learned in college, how to hate Jews. So it must be something you learned at home around the dinner table. Your father, working for a rich Jewish man, saying ‘Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew-boy’. Yeah, you’d kick the shit out of me.”
As the comic scanned the audience his eyes settled on a table of black students.
“Hey you black dudes out there! If he hates Jews, you know what he thinks about you guys. Would you take that shit? ” With their attention riveted on him, he asked, “Could you do me a favor? Will you escort this asshole out of here?”
“You got it, brother!” came the reply.
The black students stood up as a group of ten and turned to the taunter. One of them said, “Get your motherfucking ass out!”
“I said, ‘Thank you.’ They walked this guy right out the door. I called to him as he left, ‘Take it easy.’”
We started talking to him through the door.
He said, “Go away or I’ll jump. “
One senior official said, “Well, let his wife talk to him.”
She got up to the door and said , “Albert, you’re acting like an ass. Why don’t you come out?” Which completely flipped him.
We started telephone negotiations. I was talking with him, looking at him from another apartment across his terrace. He was facing a deal for him to turn hmself in. He knew he was going to be arrested, do ten years, be disgraced and lose everything, including his million dollar job.. He had nothing to live for. But I had him a few times.
He was saying, “OK, I’m going to come out now. I’m going to feed the dog, then I’ll come out.”
A good and a bad sign – good that they’re going to come out; bad that they start performing rituals. They just want to get washed. They just want to feed the dog. They just want to tidy up the loose ends, which happens a lot in suicides.
Tactically it was very difficult to get him. He was on a highrise terrace. Our team prepared to throw one of these cargo nets from the thirty third floor over the balcony to cops on the thirty first floor who would try to pull it tight against his ledge.
We talked for about seven hours, up and down. Yes, he was on my side. No, he can’t come because there was nothing to live for.
He had decided to come out three times. Each time I walked over to the other building and knocked on the door.
He’d say, “Who is it?”
I’d say, “It’s me, Gary. Are you going to come out now?” I’d walk all the way back, pick up the phone. “Why aren’t you going to come out?”
“Well, I don’t want to come out. What am I going to do?”
Again I talked about life, about all the things he had to live for.
We decided to move on him. We opened door slowly. He was in the living room. He ran out to the ledge. The net was dropped, pulled tight. With superhuman strength he squeezed out around it and dove thirty two floors to his death.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. They had to drive me home that night. You start to shake because you’ve been tense for seven hours and you wonder what you could have said.