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Crazy Lady

Off duty, I had gone home, took my gun and threw it on the kitchen table, something I never do. I changed my clothes, put on jeans and sweatshirt to go walk my dog. I was going to leave the gun, but on second thought I just got it an threw it in my pants as I went out the door.

I went into the park. It’s one o’clock in the morning by now. A guy was passing in the street on a bicycle. He sees me. He just kept going back and forth in front of the park I think, I’m going to have a problem with this guy. I call my dog and put her on the leash. We’re walking out the only entrance to the park.

Now we’re on the city street, he on one side of a car, me on the other, right under a light. His back is to me, he’s still motoring on his bike. He sticks his hand in his pants. I think, he’s got a gun. When he turns around, he didn’t have a gun. He had his penis in his hand and he was masturbating. I got so mad. I wasn’t frightened. What if it was my niece walking the dog, or it was someone’s daughter? A housewife? Someone’s who’d be frightened. I remember when I was a young girl and that happened to me I was terribly frightened.

Now I knew what he had in his hand. I pulled out my gun. And he knew what I had in my hand. I stuck it straight out, and said to him, “I’ll put a bullet in your eff’ing head.”

And pssh, he had an instant crash. And he said to me–which struck me very strange–”what are you, crazy, lady?” And he drove off, thinking I was crazy.


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